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• You know, it's funny, Smithers. I tried every tincture and poultice and tonic and patent medicine there is, and all I really needed was the blood of a young boy.
  -- Mr. Burns is full of energy after his transfusion, "Blood Feud...
• Burns: Oh, top of the morning to ye! Why, look who's here!
  It's ... good old... You! Man: Hi, Mr. Burns....
• Burns: [weakly] Smithers, I'm not going to make it.
  I want to dictate my epitaph. Smithe...
• Smithers, don't feel so bad. After all, that kidney you donated to me really hit the spot.
• Burns: By the way, what was the lad's name? Smithe
  Uh, Bart Simpson, sir. Burns: Who? Smithers: He's the son of Homer Simpson, sir....
• I can't believe you guys. There's a human being out there with millions of dollars who needs our help.
  And you don't want to cash in? -- Homer tries to take the moral high ground when none of his coworkers wants to donate blood to save Mr....
• Mr. Roman: First question. Have you slept with anyone famous?
  Burns: Well, Countess von Zeppelin and I... [catches himself] What in blazes!...
• creen: "Second season"] Homer: [disguising his voice] Hello, my name is Mr.
  Burns. I believe you have a letter for me....
• Homer: [trying to disguise his voice] Hello, my name is Mr.
  Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Postal Clerk...