Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: Lisa, honey, are you going to be OK? Lisa: Bleeding Gums was my hero and I never got to tell him how I felt.
  Homer: Oh, I'm sure he knew, and I'm sure that wherever he is now, he's happy....
• Lisa: Dad, Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume and she's not, and the geography pageant is tonight!
  Homer: Lisa, your mom still loves you. It's just that she has a career now....
• Bart: Why would anybody want to touch a girl's butt?
  That's where cooties come from! Lisa: Dad, I don't understand....
• Lisa: Did you hear that, Bart? Bart: Maybe it was just the cat.
  Lisa: No, she's sleeping with me....
• Homer: Listen here: my name is Homer J. Simpson. You guys think I'm dead, but I'm not.
  Now I want you to straighten this out without a lot of your bureaucratic red tape and mumbo- jumbo!...
• Homer: [sarcastic] All right, Lisa, you got your way.
  Your Mom's going to a psychiatrist. She's going to tell Marge to leave me....
• Homer: ...and his _wife_ comes through the door! Ba
  [bored] So? Homer: Did I mention that she was dead?...
• Man: Oh, she looks sad. Bart: That's 'cause she knows you're looking at her.
  Lisa: [turns] Although I'm aware you're looking at me, I would look exactly the same even if you weren't....