Related:

• Marge: [admiring the Washington Monument] [chuckles] Home
  Hey, what's so funny? Marge: [whispers] Homer: Oh, Marge, grow up....
• Bart: [reading a sign] On this spot, Richard Nixon bowled back-to-back 300 games.
  Homer: Yeah, right. -- Would he lie to you? "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingto...
• Lisa: [on phone] Oh no, that's awful, Mr. Puente. What?
  Oh, he owns the nuclear power plant. Yeah, I'd like to settle his hash too....
• Marge: Homer! Are you all right? Homer: [meekly] No.
  Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night....
• Homer: [reads] Seven ways to spice up your marriage.
  [ahem] [reads woodenly] Marge, you have a nice body....
• Marge: Well, at least we got a free sample of Reading Digest.
  Homer: Marge, I never read a magazine in my life, and I'm not going to start now....
• Lovejoy: Marge, we can't tell you how sorry we are.
  Ned: You have our deepest condol-diddely-olences....
• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• Homer: Let me set the scene for you, Marge. Marge: All right.
  Homer: It's a 7-10 split. Marge: Uh huh? Homer: The hardest shot in bowling....