Related:

• Lady: Mr. Simpson, are you quite sure you know how to take care of a pony?
  Homer: [shoving the pony into the back seat] Of course! -- Buying "Lisa's Pony...
• Burns: I took in a movie. An appalling little piece of filth.
  Its leading lady was a blonde harlot who spent half the film strolling around naked as a jaybird!...
• Homer: I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars, something queers the deal.
  Lisa: I don't think real checks have exclamation points....
• Homer: Okay, okay, but I want you to see a picture of the little girl you're disappointing.
  [looks through his wallet] Well, I don't have one....
• Jerry: What instrument does she play? Homer: ... [whining] I don't know.
  .. -- Buying a replacement reed for Lisa, "Lisa's Pony...
• Lisa: Isn't anybody going to show up? Lovejoy: Well, Lisa, we've waited an hour.
  [clears his throat, reads] Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to Blood and Guts Murphy....
• Homer: [kindly] And what does my little girl want? Lisa
  An absence of mood swings and some stability in my life....
• Woman: I've been waiting for you, Lisa. Lisa: [gasps] How did you know my name?
  Woman: Your nametag. ["Hi, I'm Lady Lisa"] Would you like to know your future?...
• Burns: But they're so wretchedly adorable. 25 little Rory Calhouns.
  ..I can't do it. But I can kill you. [Lisa whimpers like a puppy] No, I can't kill you either....