Related:

• Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies.
  Fact: Most movies shown on cable get two stars or less and are repeated ad nauseum....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: Oh, you're pregnant! We're going to have to have a baby.
  All our financial plans are ruined. We're doomed....
• Marge: [goes into labor] Oh! Homer: [rolls up his sleeves] Step aside.
  I'll deliver this baby. Dr. H: Uh, why don't you let me handle it, Homer?...
• Lisa: Did you hear that, Maggie? Another baby in the house.
  Bart: Oh, cool! We can race 'em! -- Marge might be pregnant, "I Married Marge...
• Homer: You know, son, the day you were born, I received the greatest gift a man could have.
  As the years went by, your mother and I were blessed twice more....
• Marge: [in bed, reading the shopping list] I get the feeling there's something you haven't told me Homer.
  Homer: Huh? Oh, I love you Marge. Marge: Mm, Homer, you tell me that all the time....
• Marge: Homey, you know, it's funny. Both my mother and your father seem pretty lonely.
  Homer: Hee hee hee! That is funny. Marge: Yeah. Anyway, maybe they could go to a matinee together, or shopping....
• Marge: Hi Homey. Homer: Hey Marge, after your big tantrum against legalized gambling, I bet it feels pretty weird to be in a casino.
  Marge: I was for the casino. Homer: Strike three, Marge!...