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• Ever since I called for the rescue of that Simpson lad, I have taken a lot of heat.
  So, I am flip-flopping! I say, let him stay down there!...
• The circumference of the well is 34 inches, so, unfortunately, not one member of our city's police force is slender enough to rescue the boy.
  -- Kent Brockman's report, "Radio Ba...
• All you need is a can of shaving cream, some liquid nitrogen, and a good imagination. -- Anon.
• LaForge: "Can I ask you a question? What in the world made you think of using the transporter pattern buffer to survive?
  Scott: "Well, we didn't have enough supplies to wait for the rescue, so we had to think of something....
• We can predict everything, except the future.
• Sting: There's a hole in my heart as deep as a well for that poor little boy, who's stuck halfway to Hell.
  .. Sideshow Mel: Though we can't get him out, we'll do the next best thing....
• Marge: It's almost lunch time. Do you know where your brother is tutoring?
  Lisa: Pfft. Tutoring? The only thing Bart's teaching is guerilla combat in Shelbyville....