Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Bart: Hey, Dad. What's the word with Planet Crackpot?
  Homer: Oh, I suppose _you're_ going to mock me, too!...
• Homer: Look at these bills: chains for elephant. Shots for elephant.
  -- "Oversized decorative poncho"?! Bart: Technically it's for a giraffe, but I think I can let it out a little....
• Homer: Why don't people like me, Marge? Marge: Mmm, everyone likes you, you're a wonderful person.
  Homer: Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?...
• Homer: What the hell are you reading books for? Ba
  I'm doing "The Conan O'Brien Show", and I want to have some intelligent stuff to talk about....
• Homer: Boy, you're gonna have to be punished for this.
  Bart: Dad, you punish me, but that means you have to think of a punishment, sit here and make sure I do it....
• Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I call it.
  Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?...
• Bart: I know that's funny, but I'm just not laughing.
  [taps head] Lisa: Hmm. Pablo Neruda said, "Laughter is the language of the soul....
• Homer: Kids, I wanna give you some words to remember me by, if something happens.
  Let's see...er...Oh, I'm no good at this. Lisa: [whispers into Homer's ear] Home...