Lawyer: Your Honor, even though I've proven my client's innocence, I'd
still like to call Freddy Quimby to the stand. So that we can
all bask in his gentle decency.
[Freddy stands up, grins winningly at audience, takes stand]
Mr. Quimby, did you assault Mr. LaCoste?
Freddy: Of course not. I love each and every thing on God's green
earth.
Lawyer: Therefore, you would _never_ lose your temper over something as
trivial as the pronunciation of "chowder".
Freddy: That's "chowdah"! Chowdah! I'll kill you! I'll kill all of
you, especially those of you in the jury!
[man on jury mutters, "He's clearly guilty"]
Lawyer: Wow, that didn't go well. The defense rests.
-- Making the best of a bad situation,
"The Boy Who Knew Too Much"
