Judge: Even though reopening a trial at this point is illegal and
grossly unconstitutional, I just can't say no to kids.
Lawyer: So, young man, if Freddy Quimby _didn't_ inflict these injuries
on Mr. LaCoste, just who did?
Bart: Well, I was hiding in the kitchen when it all happened.
[flashback]
Freddy: Say it, Frenchy! Say "chowder"!
Waiter: Never!
Freddy: OK, you asked for it. I'm going to enjoy this!
[grunts, pops the cork off some champagne, chugs it]
Waiter: Hah. [slips on floor, bangs head on four frying pans, breaks
glass, hand lands in blender, then in toaster, then head falls
in oven, boiling water is spilled on his back, then into broom
closet where rat traps snap closed all over him, then beaks more
glass and falls over]
[back to reality]
Bart: And that's what really happened.
Waiter: This is an outrage! I am not a clumsy Clouseau-esque waiter. I
will --
[trips on chair, falls out window into truck containing rat
traps]
Waiter: At least, there were no big ones -- [snap] -- aie.
-- Only one big one, it seems,
"The Boy Who Knew Too Much"
