Bart: But I saw the murder and then I saw you bury the corpse in the
back yard!
Ned: [weeping] All right, it's true. I am a murderer!
[everyone gasps]
I overwatered Maude's favorite ficus plant, I panicked, then I
buried the remains. I was hoping to replace it before you got
home.
Bart: But I heard a woman scream.
Ned: Oh? Well, now that I can't explain.
Lou: [holding up plant] Found it, Chief.
Ned: [screams like a woman]
Bart: Oh. Well, I guess that explains everything.
Homer: Not everything. There's still the little matter of the
whereabouts of your wife.
Maude: Um, I'm right here.
Homer: [sarcastic] Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat
little package.
[everyone looks at him]
Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic.
-- Getting his histrionics wrong, "Bart of Darkness"
