Related:

• Announcer: KBBL talk radio. And now Springfield's favorite conservative and author of the well-selling book, "Only Turkeys Have Left Wings.
  Ladies and gentlemen, Birch Barlow. Carl: Ecch!...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Barlow: [on the radio] My friends, Bob is a political prisoner.
  I want every loyal listener to do everything they can to get him out of jail....
• Brich Barlow [on the radio; a Rush Limbaugh imitation]
  My friends, isn't this just typical? Another intelligent conservative here, railroaded by our liberal justice system, just like [reads lists] Colonel Oliver North, officer Stacey Koons, and cartoon Smokespeson Joe Camel....
• Bob: Well Bart, Lisa...here I am. Lisa: I have a plan.
  I think we can trap him. [they walk up; Lisa takes a sip of water] You know, Sideshow Bob, I believe you when you say you're innocent....
• Barlow: All right, my friends, let's go to the phones.
  First up is Bob from South Springfield. Welcome to you, sir....
• Homer to ambulance driver: I want my wife to get the best treatment money can buy!
  Ambulance driver flicks switch so ambulance sign changes from "Ambulance" to "Beth Israel....
• Seems a computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out.
  They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, but finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand foot drop to jagged rocks....
• Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"?
  Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!...