10. Gargamel
Most likely LSD. Spends his life in pursuit of little blue guys in white
outfits and mentally abusing his cat. What does he plan to do with the blue
dwarfs when he catches them anyway?


9. Olive Oil
Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that skinny?! she
might even be anorexic, she IS always giving her burger to her friend. One side
question, what the hell are Popey and Brutus thinking? They almost made the
list for courting her.


8. Snagglepuss
Can't explain it. Maybe it's the name, or the look, but he is suspicious.


7. He-Man
This is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1. "BY THE POWER OF
ANABOL!!!!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in his castle,
hitting the weights. And on top of that he even injects the stuff in his pet
tiger. Animal Abuse.


6.&5. Yogi and Boo Boo
We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave
and trip.


4. Droopy
The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone slip him an upper
every year or two? The only time I ever saw him happy is when he sees the
picture of the babe.


3. Dopey Dwarf
He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they are under
investigations. Allegations that Doc is writing some extra scripts for Sneezy
and all the guys are partaking are afloat.


2. Daffy Duck
He's GOT to be on crack. He is so wired he bounces around on his
head without pain. Blows his beak off all the time. Some symptoms might
be from "daffiness" but Haldol wouldn't work for him. Might for his buddy
with Tourettes, Porky though.


1. Shaggy
By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee, the boy
converses with dogs. But all of this is nothing until you go to the Munchie
Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats consumed per episode does
pot. And look at the way him and his friends painted that van!