Taoism: Shit happens.
Buddism: Shit happens because of desire.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Confusianism: Confusius says: "Shit happens."
Islam: If shit happens, it's because Allah willed it.
Catholism: If shit hsppens, it's because you deserve it.
Protestantism: Shit happens because we're being punished.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Christian Science: There is no shit.
Exhistenitalism: Shit happens & then you die.
New Agers: You needed to have this shit in your life.
Learn the lesson it has to teach.
Now visualize it away.
Quadrinity Process: Shit happens, re-cycle it.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!