Recently, the Minnesota Orchestra was doing Beethoven's
Ninth under the baton of Milton Katims.....

Now at this point, you must understand two things:

1. There's a quite long segment in this symphony where the bass
violins don't have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page.

2. There is a night club right across the street from the
Minnesota's Orchestra Hall, rather favored by local musicians.

It had been decided that during this performance, once the bass
players had played their parts in the opening of the Ninth, they
were to quietly lay down their instruments and leave the stage,
rather than sit on their stools looking and feeling dumb for
twenty minutes. Well, once they got backstage, someone suggested
that they trot across the street and drink a few brews.

After they had downed the first couple rounds, one said, "Shouldn't
we be getting back? It'd be awfully embarrassing if we were late."

Another, presumably the one who suggested this excursion in the
first place, replied, "Oh, I anticipated we could use a little
more time, so I tied a string around the last pages of the
conductor's score. When he gets down to there, Milton's going
to have to slow the tempo way down while he waves the
baton with one hand and fumbles with the string with the other."

So they had another round, and finally returned to the Opera house, a
little tipsy by now. However, as they came back on stage, one look
at their conductor's face told them they were in serious trouble.
Katims was furious! And why not? After all...

It was the bottom of the Ninth,
the basses were loaded,
and the score was tied.