Related:

• Airplane Humor Here are some actual humorous statements by several airline flights crews.
  Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more entertaining....
• Federal Aviation Administration, Washington, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• Federal Aviation Agency, Washington 25, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• The Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way.
  The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle....
• Hilarious Flight Information from the Airline Employees Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
  Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported...
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• Butcher Dance A guy has spent five years traveling all around the world making a documentary on Native dances.
  At the end of this time, he has every single native dance of every indigenous culture in the world on film....
• A Bit of Halloween Caution! A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.
  She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....