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• Contributed by Steve Kufer, who attended the event.
  Here are highlights from Comedy Celebration Day on July 31, 1988 in San Francisco....
• It gives me great pleasure to introduce this next comedian.
  But before I give myself great pleasure.... Lank and Earl...
• THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS....THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN "Members of Congress.
  ..People of America....I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• SPOKE NOW, OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PACE Sometimes, when I’m scouting up ahead for The March, I discover more than I wanted to know.
  My job: to burden you with this information, so we all come away from The March with a surplus of wit & wisdom....
• POLITICALLY INCORRECT DEFINITIONS OF WHAT BILL CLINTON'S REALLY SAYING What he says.
  ...........................What he means ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "My fellow citizens"....
• From danny@masscomp.UUCP Sun Jan 15 05:30:04 1989 Flag
  000000000000 From: danny@masscomp.UUCP (Dan Pearl) Subjec...
• Feeling Old Today? Each year, the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year's incoming freshmen.
  Here's this year's list: 1. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980....