Remember: Spell Check Your Jokes, And Include A One Line Signature At Most.

Remember: Spell Check Your Jokes, And Include A One Line Signature At Most.

Home › Short Jokes › Big Jokes

.
Remember: Spell Check your jokes, and include a one line signature at most.

From werner Wed Oct 26 14:06:34 1988
Flags: 000000000001
From: rnelson@watdcsu.UUCP (Randy Nelson)
Subject: New software
Keywords: chuckle
Date: 21 Oct 88 15:30:03 GMT

---- MEDIOCREWRITER ----

JOES GARAGE INC.
500 Bituminous Ave.
Sleazonia, Ont. 3N7 N5S

1/2-sided, sloppy-sectored, 5 3/8 inch droopy disk. 39 cents.

As you might expect from this program's name and price, it's a
bare-bones, no-frills word processor package. What does 'bare bones'
mean? For one thing, you don't get multiple screens - in fact, you get
no screens at all. Joe, the program's writer, claims that in about six
months an update (19 cents) will be available that'll give the program
video-display capabilities. In the meantime, you'll simply have to
remember what you key in.

Another upgrade will enable you to type upper-case characters and
numbers greater than seven. But don't let these seemingly negative
comments dissuade you from buying the program. In reality, the 39 cent
price makes it good value for the money. You can for, example, use the
disk as a coaster for large beer mugs.

What are the program's good points? It contains a 3-word spelling
correction program called (predictably) MediocreSpeller. If you
misspell the words A, AND, or THE, it causes your computer to shut off
and locks the disk drive head on track 42.

MediocreWriter's documentation is in keeping with the program's other
annoying features. It consists of a barely legible mimeographed sheet
with the following insruction's on it:

* Turn computer on
* Insert disk
* Use program

The program is not copy protected.

Explains Joe: 'Who would want to copy it?' And it takes little memory
space: 323 bytes. It's available for the Lemming/dos operating system
for use on Joe's PC (available from Joe for $9.95).

ASST. SYSOP'S COMMENTS:

In short, MediocreWriter is Joe's latest attempt to write software that
works. It doesn't pretend to be anything other than what it is: the
sleeziest, most limited, bug-ridden word-processing program that exists.

Joe admits, 'it stinks.' In addition to its lack of a video-display
capability, it has a tendency to set computers on fire and trigger
nearby automatic washing machines. It handles 21 lower-case alphabetic
characters and numbers from one to six; punctuation is limited to the
exclamation point.

The program is interactive with Joe's other two packages: Lousycalc, a
1-column, 1-row spreadsheet; and RottenFiler, a database-management
program that accepts one entry. In short, I like it!

DETAILS: List price, 39 cents. Available only for Lemming/DOS on Joe's
PC ($9.95); configured to drive Joe's Smudge-Matrix Printer.
($14.95).

JOE'S GARAGE INC.
500 Bitumious Ave.
Sleazonia, Ont. 3N7 N5S
Phone 911

Related:

MEDIOCREWRITER ---- JOES GARAGE INC. 500 Bituminous Ave.
Sleazonia, Ont. 3N7 N5S 1/2-sided, sloppy-sectored, 5 3/8 inch droopy disk....
USComputer Lexicon By Cornelius Unicorn Beginne
A person who believes more than one-sixteenth of a computer salesperson's spiel....
YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
ENTER DATA, ENAMORATA Back into the fray. Thanks to all who sent along best wishes at the outset of my vacation.
Now, as you rejoin the ranks and the column moves out into another fiscal front, let�s get those shoulders back, chests out, stomachs in and tongues in cheek....
50 Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store....
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
< -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...