Related:

• James Thurber: "I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.
• CHOCOLATE By John Scalzi Chocolate is God's way of reminding men how inadequate they are.
  I am vividly confronted with this fact every time my wife and I go out to a restaurant....
• Classic Quotes "I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, You'll never find anyone like me again.
  I'm thinking, I should hope not. If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?...
• Two canadians decide to go duck hunting so they get up early one morning, and go off to the swamps with their red hats, duck calls, and their trusty hunting dog.
  Even with all conditions favorable for a good day, by day's end they headed home without a single duck!...
• Maybe I think too much...
• Dog Quotations "If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" --Unknown "Some days you're the dog
  ome days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• If The Airlines Sold Paint Customer (CU): Hi, how much is your paint?
  Clerk (CL): Well, sir, that all depends. CU: Depends on what?...