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From bill@ssbn.WLK.COM Mon Nov 21 21:30:04 1988
Flags: 000000000000
From: bill@ssbn.WLK.COM (Bill Kennedy)
Subject: Submission - Talking to Fish
Keywords: original, smirk
Date: 22 Nov 88 03:30:04 GMT
This was published in The South Texas Fisherman, sometime 1972. I'd
like to take credit for it but the "Bill Kennedy" author is Sr, I'm Jr.
TALKING TO FISH
by Bill Kennedy
A character in one of Shakespeare's plays, boasting of his accomplishments
said "I can call up monsters from the vasty deep." Any fisherman could have
given the answer: "So can I and so can any man, but will they come?" Men
and women have been calling to fish, pleading with them and swearing at them
without response since the beginning of time. A federally supported research
project may change that situation.
Working with the whale family (porpoise or dolphin), scientists in Florida
have set out to translate fish language. They are not far along yet but
have made some headway. Various clicks and whistles have been recorded
that indicate, at least in the whale family, one fish has a way to commun-
icating what is on his mind to another fish. If the research continues as
planned, it should be only a matter of time until man will be able to
reporoduce fish noises and communicate what is on his mind to bass, perch,
and catfish.
All right-minded fishermen agree that fish-talk research projects should
be cancelled and the scientists in it forced to seek other employment.
The reasoning behind this point of view is simple and sound. If the
research continues to its logical conclusion, fishing will cease to be
the pleasant and relaxing sport that it now is. Fishing will become a
business of bellowing speeches in fish language designed to convince fish
that they would be better off on the bank or in the boat than they are in
the water. In such circumstances any fool knows who the men that will
catch all the fish will be. They will be politicians!
