Related:

• EXCUSES ACTUALLY RECEIVED BY SCHOOLS VIA NOTES FROM HOME (This was posted at work.
  I do not know the author/editor. Sorry) * Dear school...
• Signs Your Driving School Instructor is Nuts 16> Claims "road rage" was his idea.
  15> Touch his dashboard Jesus? Ride home in the trunk....
• Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
• AH yes.. ye ole highschool days.... (seems everyone knows of or has done a VW bug stunt already).
  We also had a rather unliked teacher, whose VW was carried up onto the gymnasium stage on the last day of school....
• 128 There was a young damsel named Baker Who was poked in a pew by a Quaker.
  He yelled, "My God! what Do you call this -- a twat?...
• Q: Hear about the guy who lost his whole left side in an auto accident? A: He's all right now!
• A group of Polish tourists is flying on a small airplane through the Grand Canyon on a sightseeing tour.
  The tour guide anounces: "On the right of the airplane, you can see the famous Bright Angle Falls....
• The floor manager of the Men's Department at May Company notices that a large crowd has gathered around the tie section and that there seems to be quite a disturbance brewing.
  He rushes over and breaks through the crowd to discover a blind man swinging his seeing-eye dog around over his head by the dog's tail....