Related:

• EXCUSES ACTUALLY RECEIVED BY SCHOOLS VIA NOTES FROM HOME (This was posted at work.
  I do not know the author/editor. Sorry) * Dear school...
• Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
• Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
• Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
  He was hurt in the growing part....
• Never argue with a woman when she's tired or rested.
• Here are my categories, with examples (his): ENGLISH
  I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out....
• The Love Dress... The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's house.
  She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door....
• From: neighorn@qiclab.UUCP (Steve Neighorn) Subjec
  Thank Heavens for Schools Date: 14 Jun 88 21:03:42 GMT [Yet another compendium] And who says our educational system is in dire straits?...