Related:

• It's 3.45am... and where is your brain? - Jolt Cola Co.
• Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night.
  If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye....
• The upgrade path to the most powerful and satisfying compute
  * Pocket calculator * Commodore Pet / Apple II / TRS 80 / Commodore 64 / Timex Sinclair (Choose any of the above) * IBM PC * Apple Macintosh * Fastest workstation of the time (HP, DEC, IBM, SGI...
• THE TECHNO TERMS DICTIONARY ~~~ 486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
  State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford. Obsolete - Any computer you own....
• YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .................... YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .
  ................... There are enough empty beer cans in your truck that if you turned them all in, you could buy another six-pack....
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "I'm going fishing.
  Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety....
• LOVE, LUST AND MARRIAGE LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
  LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room....