Related:

• The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes ----------------------------------- 12/15/92 Q
  How do blonde braincells die ? A: Alone....
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....
• Fight Office Boredom! Page yourself over the intercom.
  (Don't disguise your voice.) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits....
• Writing Contest FROM AN ACTUAL NEWSPAPER CONTEST WHERE ENTRANTS AGE 4 TO 15 WERE ASKED TO IMITATE "DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
  My young brother asked me what happens after we die....
• Here are my categories, with examples (his): ENGLISH
  I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out....
• Many ALMOST Useful Facts: ** Debra Winger was the voice of E.
  T. ** Pearls melt in vinegar ** It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs....
• Cheese can be your friend!
• From The Wit of Steven Wright: ** Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
  The mime next door went nuts. ** If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?...