Excerpted from the Empire State Surveyor, New York Society of
Professional Surveyors, November 1990
One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can
be is illustrated by a recent case in Louisiana. A company
president was trying to buy some land in Louisiana for a plant
expansion, and he wanted to finance this new facility with a
government loan.
His lawyer filled out all the necessary forms and applications and
sent them appropriately. The government reviewed his application
and abstract and sent the following reply:
"We received today your letter enclosing application for your client
supported by abstract of title. We have observed, however, that you
have not traced the title previous to 1803, and before final
approval, it will be necessary that the title be traced previous to
that year.
Yours truly, etc."
As a result, the lawyer sent the following letter to the government:
"Gentlemen, your letter regarding title received. I note you wish
said title to be claimed back further than I have done it.
I was unaware that any educated man failed to know that Louisiana
was purchased by the United States from France in 1803. The title
of the land was acquired by France by right of conquest of Spain.
The land came into possession of Spain in 1492 by right of discovery
by a Spanish-Portuguese sailor named Christopher Columbus, who had
been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by Queen
Isabella of Spain.
The good queen, being a pious woman and careful about title, took
the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope of Rome upon
Columbus' voyage before she sold her jewels to help him.
Now the Pope, as you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, who is
the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, made the world.
Therefore, I believe it is safe to assume that He also made that
part of the United States called Louisiana, and I hope to hell
you're satisfied."
Opener (above) Copyright 1997 by Vincent Sabio
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