10. No more silly trophies -- winner gets to sleep with loser's wife
9. Ball boys: those adorable Hanson kids
8. Every single player must legally change name to "Bjorn"
7. Make it more like baseball, the most thrill-packed sport known
to man
6. Players must compete after night spent bar hopping with Jennifer
Capriati
5. If game gets dull, John McEnroe comes out and curses up a storm *
4. For God's sake, just let the players pick up the ball and throw
it
3. TV commentators must match Monica Seles grunt for grunt
2. Before match, players must eat a heaping helping of tainted beef
1. More 'splosions
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