10. They boast that 90% of their graduates eventually make parole
9. The campus is roamed by packs of starving coyotes
8. So-called "sports complex" consists of a kickball and a swing set
7. Your letter of admission was signed by Sally Struthers
6. The dean is being followed by a crew from "Hard Copy"
5. History professor + fake mustache = English professor
4. Graduation ceremonies are held in a local 7-eleven
3. Final project in Biology: dissecting a Snickers bar *
2. Orientation video features Frank Gifford and a flight attendant
1. Average S.A.T. score: 2
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