You will need the following: A cup of water, a cup of sugar, four
large brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup
of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey.
Sample the whiskey and check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the
electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add
one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the
mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the
beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups
of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the
lemon uice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar of
something. Whatever you find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to
beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the
whiskey again and go to bed.
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BE A KID AGAIN....
Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces
Sing into your hairbrush
Grow a milk mustache
Smile back at the man in the moon
Read the funnies Throw the rest of the paper away
Dunk your cookies
Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running
Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along
Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach
Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even
though you wanted both of them for yourself
Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing
Step carefully over sidewalk cracks
Change into some play clothes
Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich
Have a staring contest with your cat
Eat ice cream for breakfast
Kiss a frog just in case
Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck"
Blow the wrapper off a straw
Refuse to eat crusts
Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no"
Watch TV in your pajamas
Ask "Why?...
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...