REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS BACKUP - What You Do When You Run Across A Skunk In The Woods BAR CODE - Them's The Fight'n Rules Down At The Local Tavern BUG - The Reason You Give For Calling In Sick BYTE - What Your Pit Bull Dun To Cusin Jethro CACHE - Needed When You Run Out Of Food Stamps CHIP - Pasture Muffins That You Try Not To Step In TERMINAL - Time To Call The Undertaker CRASH - When You Go To Junior's Party Uninvited DIGITAL - The Art Of Counting On Your Fingers DISKETTE - Female Disco Dancer FAX - What You Lie About To The IRS HACKER - Uncle Leroy After 32 Years Of Smoking HARDCOPY - Picture Looked At When Selecting Tattoos INTERNET - Where Cafeteria Workers Put Their Hair KEYBOARD - Where You Hang The Keys To The John Deere MAC - Big Bubba's Favorite Fast Food MEGAHERTZ - How Your Head Feels After 17 Beers MODEM - What Ya Did When The Grass And Weeds Got Too Tall MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey And Minnie Live NETWORK - Scoop'n Up A Big Fish Before It Breaks The Line ONLINE - Where To Stay When Taking The Sobriety Test ROM - Where The Pope Lives SCREEN - Helps Keep The Skeeters Off The Porch SERIAL PORT - A Red Wine You Drink With Breakfast SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee Of The Year SCSI - What You Call Your Week-old Underwear HOW DO I SUBSCRIBE?

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COMPUTER TERMS for REDNECKS: BACKUP -- What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
BAR CODE -- Them's the fight'n rules down to the local tavern....
TEXAS COMPUTER DEFINITIONS Hard Drive: Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires, pulling a flatbed trailer loaded with alfalfa hay.
Keyboard: Place to hang your truck keys. Window: Place in the truck to hang your gun....
The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes ----------------------------------- 12/15/92 Q
How do blonde braincells die ? A: Alone....
What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
< -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
YOU KNOW YOUR A REDNECK IF.... You still have an 8-track tape player in your car or house.
Your idea of safe sex doesn't include anyone else....

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