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• Trouble with Car WIFE: "There's trouble with the car.
  It has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor?...
• THE COMB The salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in the department store.
  He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture & stress....
• Letter from Camp Dear Mom & Dad: We are having a great time here at Lake Typhoid.
  Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried....
• How they make those foods look so good on TV Have you wondered why your meals don't look as good as those TV ads?
  Most of us know they use tricks on those ads. Here are a few reported by Brett Kurzweil in the HOPE health letter (posted without permission) - Shaving cream is used instead of whipped cream - Roasted poultry is typically shellacked to make it look good - Nectarines can be turned into gorgeous looking fuzzy peaches by spritzing them with antifungal foot spray....
• English language Let's face it -- English is a crazy language.
  There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburge...
• RESUME BLOOPERS RESUME BLOOPERS: "Personal: I'm married with 9 children.
  I don't require prescription drugs." "I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability....
• Writing Contest FROM AN ACTUAL NEWSPAPER CONTEST WHERE ENTRANTS AGE 4 TO 15 WERE ASKED TO IMITATE "DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
  My young brother asked me what happens after we die....
• Geek Theology 101 Geek Theology 101 In the beginning, God created the bit.
  And the bit was a zero. On the first day, he toggled the 0 to 1, and the Universe was....
• Politically Correct Santa 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck.
  ... How to live in a world that's politically correct?...