Related:

• Marriage Before - You take my breath away. After - I feel like I'm suffocating.
  Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation....
• Two rich texans, J.D. the rancher, and Bo the oilman, were inseparable friends.
  One evening, they made a vow. Whichever one of them died first would try to contact the other from the spirit world....
• You know, i's really not too nice to joke about Pee-Wee Herman now that he died.
  ..he had a massive stroke! Actually, Pee-Wee didn't die after all....
• Speaking of orchestra's, .... Not to long ago at the New York Philmarmonic, when I think Horowitz was playing
  Just after the applause from the 10th encore has died down, a man in the front row stood up, turned to the crowd and said...
• Most language is spoken language, and most words, once they are uttered, vanish forever into the air.
  But such is not the case with language spoken during courtroom trials, for there exists an army of courtroom reporters whose job it is to take down and preserve every statement made during the proceedings....
• And there there were these three nuns, who died and went to heaven, like true nuns do.
  Being in heaven, they are rewarded by the High one, for the fulfilling of their holy duties....
• Harold suspected his wife of playing around on the side, so one day he took the afternoon off and comes home extra early.
  He entered his apartment, which was on the 3rd floor, and started looking around....
• I HAD A BAD DAY It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.
  The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died....
• There was a country doctor who was the only doctor for miles around.
  He wanted to go on a fishing trip so he called the vet and asked him to look after things while he was gone....