Saddam Hussein's Top Ten Hopes for the New Year
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10. That the chef won't continue to serve ``date surprise'' every
night of the week.
9. In between brutally silencing his opponents, he'll be able to
find a little quite time for himself.
8. Be able to use the Video Toaster to make Iraqi TV footage of
``Death to American Satan'' rallies look more like a Vanilla Ice
video.
7. No one realizes that Tariq Aziz used to play Larry Tate on
``Bewitched''.
6. There will finally be a college football playoff system.
5. That people won't start wondering why they've never seen him
and the official government spokesmen together.
4. That Iraq will have a piece of Saudi Arabia--- oops that
should be that Iraq will have *peace with* Saudi Arabia.
3. The New York Post will stop using his first name as a verb.
2. That Noriega's lawyer has received the retainer he sent.
1. (tie) lose ten pounds/get around to poison gassing the Kurds
like he promised the wife last year.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
