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• SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.
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• As a result of the reduction in the availability of funds budgeted for departmental areas, we are, unfortunately, forced to cut down on our number of personnel.
  Under the plan, older employees will be encouraged to accept early retirement thus permitting the retention of younger personnel, who represent our future plans....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• If The Airlines Sold Paint Customer (CU): Hi, how much is your paint?
  Clerk (CL): Well, sir, that all depends. CU: Depends on what?...
• POLITICALLY INCORRECT DEFINITIONS OF WHAT BILL CLINTON'S REALLY SAYING What he says.
  ...........................What he means ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "My fellow citizens"....
• Problem: To Catch a Lion in the Sahara Desert. (Hunting lions in Africa was originally published as "A contribution to the mathematical theory of big game hunting" in the American Mathematical Monthly in 1938 by "H.
  Petard, of Princeton NJ" [actually the late Ralph Boas]....
• RESUME BLOOPERS RESUME BLOOPERS: "Personal: I'm married with 9 children.
  I don't require prescription drugs." "I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability....
• Announcing the: 1988 REC.
  HUMOR.FUNNY Computer Network Humour Annual I often get requests for back-jokes out of rec....