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• You Think You're Having A Bad Day... There's a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink.
  He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down....
• RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
  ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....
• First Date Advice Things Not To Say On A First Date
  1. "This is my apartment, but don't break anything, or you'll have to pay for it....
• Husband Quotes: I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
  I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her....
• Three old ladies were sitting around a table. The first say
  I'm getting so forgetful- this morning I was standing at the top of the stairs and I couldn't remember whether I was going down or had just come up....
• a young man who was prematurely bald went to a barber for a trim.
  during the course of the short haircut the young man asked if there was a dependable hair restorer....
• A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
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• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.
  You guys line up alphabetically by height." - Bill Peterson, former Florida State football coach "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes....