Related:

• Truth is shorter than fiction...
• Seen in the men's lavatory: More than three shakes is masturbation.
• Found in Actual Military Evaluation Reports... 1. This Marine is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
  2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching....
• A Cat's Guide: TRAINING YOUR HUMAN 1. CHAIRS AND RUGS
  ** If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly....
• Seen in men's room Please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinal, it makes them soggy and hard to light!
• The faster you go, the shorter you are-- Einstei
• I think that I'll stand up-wind, if you don't mind
• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....
• Some Reasons It's Great To Be a Guy: Phone conversations last 30 seconds You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase Bathroom lines are 80% shorter You can open all your own jars Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go You can go to the bathroom alone Your last name stays put You can leave a hotel room bed unmade You can kill your own food The garage is all yours You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment" You never have to clean the toile You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes Wedding plans take care of themselves If someone forgets to invite you to something
  hey can still be your friend Your underwear costs $...