Related:

• PAINT IT LIKE A COW The Fair. I hadn’t been to one of these
  “regional events, held annually, consisting of farm and home product displays, and various competitions and entertainments,” since childhood....
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• I've fallen and I need Stand Up.
• Knock knock Who's there? Don Juan Don Juan who? I Don Juan to set the world on fire!
• Please Mr. Custard, I don' wanna gel ...
• Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper. Little Johnny: I hope you didn't, too.
• WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN OAKIE' AND A DAMN FOOL?
  THE RED RIVER. In Texas, we're proud to have the best politicians that money can buy....
• ENTER DATA, ENAMORATA Back into the fray. Thanks to all who sent along best wishes at the outset of my vacation.
  Now, as you rejoin the ranks and the column moves out into another fiscal front, let’s get those shoulders back, chests out, stomachs in and tongues in cheek....