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• In "Pissing in the Snow: Ozark Mountain Folktales", Vance Randolph tells of a wizened old country doctor who could treat anything.
  Well it seems one time, one of the mountain folk came into his office with three complaints....
• THE FACTS OF LIFE: The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you Money can't buy happiness.
  ..But it sure makes misery easier to live with. Deja Moo...
• A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and tried striking up a conversation .
  .. "Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies....
• RULES LEFT OUT OF "LIFE'S LITTLE INSTRUCTION BOOK" THAT WE SHOULD KNOW
  1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity....
• Trouble Remembering Things... An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
  When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory....
• Young Charlie is having trouble with his first grade addition homework, so his father decides to help.
  He teaches the Charlie how to add small numbers by counting on his fingers....
• If it has TITS or TIRES, you gonna have trouble with it.
• If it has CHIPS or TIRES, you gonna have trouble with it.