Business Strategies For A Dead Horse
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to
the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best
strategy is to dismount. However, in modern business, because of the heavy
investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies
have to be tried with dead horses, including the following:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Appointing an intervention team to re-animate the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
9. Re-classifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
10. Change the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."
11. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harness several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby deducting its
full original cost.
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
15. Do a time management study to see if the lighter riders would improve
productivity.
16. Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs
better.
18. Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses.
19. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses.
20. Say things like, "This is the way we have always ridden this horse."
21. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
22. Comparing the state of dead horses in todays environment.
23. Declaring that "No horse is too dead to beat."
24. Do a Cost Analysis study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.
25. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
26. Apply for a government subsidy to retrain dead horses.
