Signs That You've Been Out Of College Too Long:
** Your potted plants stay alive.
** Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
** You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
** 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
** You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
** You carry an umbrella You watch the Weather Channel.
** Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
** You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
** Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as dressed up'
** You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't
know how to turn down the stereo.
** Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
** You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
** Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
** You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
** Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
** You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
** Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
** MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
** You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and
pregnancy test kits.
** A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
** You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
** Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi & Ho-Ho's
** "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink
that much again."
** Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
** You don't get liquored up at home to save money before going to a bar.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
