A Lawyer Goes to Heaven:
A lawyer dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself
greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band. Saint Peter runs over, shakes
his hand and says "Congratulations!!!"
"Congratulations for what?" asks the lawyer.
"Congratulations for what?!?!?" says Saint Peter. "We're celebrating the
fact that you lived to be 160 years old."
"But that's not true," says the lawyer. "I only lived to be forty."
"That's impossible," says Saint Peter.
"We've added up your time sheets."
A Short Bonus Joke:
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your
food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize
that you set it free........... You either married it or gave birth to
it.......
