A small Indian brave walks up to his grandfather and asks:
"Grandfather, how do we Indians get our names?"
"Well my son, the baby is named for an event that happened on the day
baby is conceived. For instance, your father was conceived during a terrible
storm. Thus his name is Thundering Cloud. When your sister was conceived,
it was a beautiful summer day. Thus her name became Flowering Meadow.
"Oh," said the boy.
"Why do you ask Broken Rubber?"
TOP TEN OTHER REASONS TO BOYCOTT CLASSES
10. Your classes just plain suck
9. Unofficial holiday (Friday the 13th)
8. It was your birthday
7. The food sucks (Oops! I was thinking of boycotting
_food service!_)
6. You're a rebel _with_ a cause
5. The weather ('Nuff said)
4. Needed to catch up on that 24 hours of sleep you lost
last weekend
3. Classes? What classes?
2. Damn it! It's about time you did something for _you!_
1. Just Do It. (tm)
As you all know, Jimmy Swaggart was stopped by the police
a few days ago with a prostitute in his car. His defense is that
he was recruiting her for his choir. She was going to play his
organ.
Also, boxer Hecter "Macho" Comacho was stopped by on the highway
by police for weaving his ferrari back and forth through lanes
of traffic. The police discovered the reason for his erratic
driving; a woman was leaning over into his lap... Well, the
police then charged him with reckless driving and impersonating
Jimmy Swaggart.
There was this salesman who died. At the pearly gates St Peter said
that he could chose whether he wanted to go to heaven or hell. First,
St Peter showed him heaven. There were people dressed in white
flying through the clouds, singing and playing harps. "Boring", declared
the salesman. Then St Peter showed him hell. There were people dancing,
drinking and having a wonderful time at a party. Well, the salesman
took one look at this and said "This is for me! I want to be there".
So St Peter made it so. When he arrived at hell, the salesman was
immediately set upon by huge devils with pitchforks. Screaming with
agony, the salesman asked Satan what happened to the party that St Peter
had shown to him. Satan laughed and said "You must have seen our demo!"
Height of
Shortness : Sitting on the kerb and dangling ur legs
Irony : A one-arm man hanging onto the edge of a cliff and his balls
start itching
My favorite stupid bank robbery story happened here in Rochester, NY a few
years ago. Man walks into the bank with a mask, pulls out a gun, and demands
that the teller give him all the money. The teller says something like "Sure
Bob." He got all shook up because he thought she recognized him. He was
wearing a tee-shirt with his name on it! After he got all shook up he ran
out the bank without his gun! So in the end, the bank made out. True story!
What's the difference between wetting your pants and listening to a violist
play Brahms?
One of them gives you a nice warm feeling.
And of course the formal definition of a minor second:
Two violists playing in unison.
Dolly Parton and Princess Di both die on the same day.
They both end up at the gates to heaven, however, heaven is too full
and there is only room for one of them until they finish the new wing.
So the angel at the gate tells them that one of them will have to come
up with a good reasons as to why they should be allowed in over the other.
Dolly Parton thinks for a few seconds and whips open her blouse and shows
the angel her chest. He replys very impressive. Princess Di is at a loss
so she thinks hard and finally tells the angel that she douched that morning.
The angel says 'so', and she replies that she always thought a royal flush beat
a pair. :)
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
