George Carlinisms:
** How come wrong numbers are never busy?
** Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?
** Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?
** Does killing time damage eternity?
** Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
** Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
** Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
** Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
** Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn
down the volume on the radio?
** Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?
** Are part-time band leaders semiconductors?
** Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?
** Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
** Do pilots take crash-courses?
** Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just
whipped out a quarter?
** Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
** How can there be self-help "groups"?
** How do you get off a nonstop flight?
** How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
** How many weeks are there in a light year?
** If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
** If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
** If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
** If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way
they do?
** If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
** If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
** If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
** Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running
child?
** Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?
** Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game,"when we are already there?
** Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
