A Guide to Essay Writing
** Avoid alliteration. Always.
** Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
** Avoid clichés like the plague.
** Employ the vernacular.
** Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
** Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
** It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
** Contractions aren't necessary.
** Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
** One should never generalize.
** Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.
Tell me what you know."
** Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
** Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly
superfluous.
** Be more or less specific.
** Understatement is always best.
** One-word sentences? Eliminate.
** Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
** The passive voice is to be avoided.
** Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
** Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
** Who needs rhetorical questions?
** Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
