Related:

• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• Alternate State Mottos... Alabama: Yes, we have electricity Arizona
  But It's a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing California...
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• Punny 1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
  2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor....
• 1] 15 digits to dial a local number? He dials 15 digits to connect to his school computer.
  Sounds the recordings studio went a bit over board with the sound effects....
• Mind Teazer's The Questions: 1. The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it.
  What is it? 2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts....
• Mind Teazer The Questions 1. The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it.
  What is it? 2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts....
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....