Random thoughts...
** Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you
anyway.
** I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here
** When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes
for Christmas!
** I don't have a big ego, I'm way too cool for that.
** I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you
want to annoy for the rest of your life.
** After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
** I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me
lately!
** "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
I've stayed alive."
** Give your son a hint. On his room door put this sign: CHECKOUT TIME IS
18."
** "How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss
America?"
** How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
** Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
** Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
** Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
** I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point
involved.
** Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't
pick that up, you don't know where it's been."
Related:
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
