The Following Are Actual Statements Found In Insurance Forms Where Car Drivers Attempted To Summarize The Details Of The Accidents In The Fewest Words.

The following are actual statements found in insurance forms where car
drivers attempted to summarize the details of the accidents in the fewest
words. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even
incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't
have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my head
through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I
hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and
headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached
an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the
other car.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an
accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint
gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where
no sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the
accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that
I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road
when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my
car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big
mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch
by some cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its
way, when it struck my car.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

The following are actual statements found in insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of the accidents in the fewest words.
These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining....
The following quotes taken from the Toronto News on July 26, 1977, are actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible.
Such instances of faulty writ- ing serve to confirm that incompetency can be highly entertaining ....
Humor, pedestrian and otherwise Confused by traffic accidents?
The following are excerpts from a Toronto insurance company's records of drivers' descriptions of their experience...
Many have experienced the confusion of traffic accidents and have had to summerize correctly what happened in a few words or less on insurance or accident forms.
The following quotes were taken >From those forms and were eventually published in the Toronto Sun Paper....
Yrneh Etac IV - No such process --------------- (novax!
owhere!etac4) OR (etac4@nowhere) I dread success....
The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
"Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
Stupid People... Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid".
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything....
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
houses --- In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything.
Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check....

The Following Are Actual Statements Found In Insurance Forms Where Car Drivers Attempted To Summarize The Details Of The Accidents In The Fewest Words.

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