Eugene d'Albert (noted German composer) was married six times. At
an evening reception which he attended with his fifth wife shortly after
their wedding, he presented the lady to a friend who said politely,
"Congratulations, Herr d'Albert; you have rarely introduced me to so
charming a wife."
During a visit to America, Winston Churchill was invited to a buffet
luncheon at which cold fried chicken was served. Returning for a second
helping, he asked politely, "May I have some breast?"
"Mr. Churchill," replied the hostess, "in this country we ask for white meat
or dark meat." Churchill apologized profusely.
The following morning, the lady received a magnificent orchid from her guest
of honor. The accompanying card read: "I would be most obliged if you would
pin this on your white meat."
Sentenced to two years hard labor (for Sodomy), Oscar Wilde stood handcuffed
in driving rain waiting for transport to prison. "If this is the way Queen
Victoria treats her prisoners," he remarked," she doesn't deserve to have
any."
James McNeill Whistler's (painter of "Whistler's Mother") failure in his
West Point chemistry examination once provoked him to remark in later life,
"If silicon had been a gas, I should have been a major general."
German philosopher) Georg Wilhelm Hegel, on his deathbed, complained, "Only
one man ever understood me." He fell silent for a while and then added, "And
he didn't understand me."
Driving through a Swiss city one day, Alfred Hitchcock suddenly pointed out
of the car window and said, " That is the most frightening sight I have ever
seen." His companion was surprised to see nothing more alarming than a
priest in conversation with a little boy, his hand on the child's shoulder.
"Run, little boy," cried Hitchcock, leaning out of the car. "Run for your
life!"
Grover Cleveland, though constantly at loggerheads with the Senate, got on
better with the House of Representatives. A popular story circulating during
his presidency concerned the night he was roused by his wife crying, "Wake
up! I think there are burglars in the house." "No, no, my dear," said the
president sleepily, "in the Senate maybe, but not in the House."
Will Rogers, having paid too much income tax one year, tried in vain to
claim a rebate. His numerous letters and queries remained unanswered.
Eventually the form for the next year's return arrived. In the section
marked "DEDUCTIONS," Rogers listed: "Bad debt, US Government -- $40,000."
Lady Astor was giving a costume ball and Winston Churchill asked her what
disguise she would recommend for him. She said, "Why don't you come sober,
Mr. Prime Minister?"
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
