Related:

• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• A Bit of Halloween Caution! A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.
  She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!
  looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
• A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here.
  The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here....
• There once was a business executive who decided he needed a little rest from the daily routine, so he decided to take his pretty, young secretary to a hotel for some whoopee.
  He rented a very nice, quiet room and they spent the day drinking, going to bed, having lunch, drinking some more, back to bed again, etc....
• TO MY DARLING HUSBAND, I am sending you this letter via this BBS communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it.
  Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO....
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....