Related:

• Why won't a shark attack a lawyer swimming in the ocean? Professional courtesy.
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• How do you keep an Englishman happy in his old age?
  Tell him a joke when he's young. Do you know why the British ships came back from the Falkland Islands full of sheep?...
• Stupid People... Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid".
  That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything....
• A lawyer, doctor and priest were on an airplane over the ocean.
  The plane went down and the only survivors were those three....
• A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him to cover for him.
  The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him and show him what to do....
• A doctor was at the beach when he saw a shark in the water and fainted dead away.
  Later when he woke his wife said to him, "You've got to quit imagining that there are lawyers everywhere!...
• Robin... the Bat-shark repellent!!!
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....