Related:

• How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles.
  "My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question....
• A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence.
  They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in favor of the lawyer as follow...
• A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and tried striking up a conversation .
  .. "Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial.
  It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....