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• A certain young fellow from Ransome Had a dame seven times in a hansom.
  When she shouted for more, Said he from the floor, The name, miss, is Simpson, not Samson....
• Pass the beans please!! Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
  She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her....
• 36 A nervous young fellow named Fred Took a charming young widow to bed.
  When he'd diddled a while She remarked with a smile, "You've got it all in but the head....
• Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines 15> "He snapped my bra like a Concord taking off, and I was unhooked for love.
  14> "Yes, she was a woman who had once been a man, but she still knew how to flutter her eyelashes as well as those other hussies....
• The defendent who pleads their own case has a fool for a client, but at least there will be no problem with fee-splitting.
  ---- These two guys, George and Harry, set out in a Hot Air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean....
• There was a young girl in Berlin Who was fucked by an elderly Finn.
  Though he diddled his best, And fucked her with zest, She kept asking, "Hey, Pop, is it in?...
• A man became suspicious of his wife. He was convinced that she was having an affair with another man although she consistantly denied it.
  One day he decided to leave work early to try to "catch her in the act"....
• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....
• Gandpa Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was as pretty as could be.
  This widow had a grown up daughter Who had hair of red....